new year's resolutions

NYRs if you're nasty

happy new year!! i keep seeing people’s thoughts about new year’s resolutions and i wanted to have my own thoughts in a public arena. i must be heard! gather the townsfolk in the town square, stat! before getting to all of my opinions though, an opinion about other people’s opinions; i LOVE hearing them. specifically, i love hearing people’s feelings about NYRs, as i’ll refer to them from here-on-in because of my lazy fingers. i love knowing what people’s NYRs are this year, why they’ve changed from last year, reflections on what has and hasn’t worked on them, why people don’t do them any more or HATE them. i love it all. it is a socially acceptable way for me to burrow beneath the precipice of small talk and get to the meat of things.

i also totally get why people hate NYRs. i get why people want to divorce themselves from an ideology that says we could always be better, shinier, doing things more perfectly. NYRs are so often related to our appearance, or our performance at our jobs, things i personally care much less about than i used to. you know what i also noticed, what’s also interesting? i think it’s a diversion! i think setting these goals that we’ll get our steps in, go to the gym 5 times a week, eat only savoury breakfasts, whatever… they can be ways to not think about the scary things. our dreams. our deepest desires. how those might be realised.

i guess that brings me onto the crux of my thoughts and feelings on the matter; i wouldn’t say i LOVE love NYRs, but i love what they could be, and what they sometimes are. i love that so much of the world takes this moment to self-reflect at the same time, that we’re all touching base around what we want from our (sorry) one wild and precious life. and hey, i know i’m writing this beyond major-resolution-setting date jan 1st. but maybe by now the cracks are showing around that slightly random and hard-to-achieve goalpost you set yourself a week ago. january is a long, frosty month - maybe you can stay inside a little longer, spend a little more time wondering what that heart of yours wants? wondering why?

i read people’s takes on NYRs because i want to know THEIRS, so i will share my own fruits here (brace yourself - they’re vague). for the last few years, i’ve picked a word of the year. in 2024, it was courage. in 2025, freedom. this year, i’ve settled on showing up. i think really hard about this! there are lots of words in the mix! i think i like this final phrase, “showing up”, because it facilitates flexibility in how i show up and what i show up to. it’s showing up to the life that i would like to be living, and taking tangible actions each day towards that. for me right now, this involves:

• editing the balance of work that i do, so i’m doing more of what i find satisfying and rewarding.

• not managing other people (aka taking away their agency) - noticing when i get that urge to tell someone what needs doing, letting myself be quiet, and sitting in that discomfort.

• being softer with how much i move my body. not exercising through injury or pain.

… and lots of other little things. and these are all flexible! priorities change, my own priorities change all the time. but i can keep asking myself what they are.

i am going to end by sharing my girlfriend’s NYR, because it really moved me. she’s going to try and turn more of her acquaintances (acquaintance-ships?) with cool people into solid friendships. an intention to build community! perhaps the most important thing we can do! i love.

i’d also love to know what you are planning, or hoping for, or realising. please tell me in the comments if you’re feeling brave, i promise to reply. happy new year.

me, showing up to this newsletter, inserting a tumblr-ass stock photo of fireworks. photo by Mikayla Anding on Unsplash.